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The Church And The Struggler


Have you ever felt like no one at your church understands you? You want to tell someone about your struggles, but feel as if you will be rejected, judged or treated differently? Do you feel like the proverbial “elephant in the room?” That you are the only one who deals with homosexual/lesbian feelings? Have you prayed for the Lord to take these feelings away, maybe even for years, but still they remain? Sometimes, the church, or we as church members can put on a plastic exterior that does not show who we really are; broken and wounded sinners. Sometimes that brokenness comes in the form of gender confusion and/or sexual addiction. And sometimes in the church, we say it’s a sin like any other, yet act as if it is the worst of all in our language and actions toward the struggler.

Do you realize that Jesus does not see you as homosexual or lesbian? He sees you as an individual creation, His masterpiece with whom He longs to fellowship, whom He loves, and wishes to express His true purpose for your life…

Maybe you feel as I did; the church would never put it’s arms around me again if it knew what I really struggled with. To have them withdraw their love and affection toward me was unthinkable! I loved my church family and community. I was in the bondage I was in for many reasons for sure, but I didn’t want to be. I wanted out, but who could I tell that wouldn’t judge me or look at me differently? I had attended a very large church for 12 years and had never met one other person struggling with lesbian thoughts or behaviors! Was I the only one? Wow, did I feel like a freak! For the first time in a long time, I desperately needed the church to minister to me. Would telling someone make any difference? Would it just expose the most embarrassing and difficult parts of my past, only to have no one know how to help me? Would anyone even care? Fear and uncertainty paralyzed me….to be continued…